I'd like to share with you the story of a boy I had the privilege of meeting a few seasons ago. He was around 12 or 13 when I first met him. For the purpose of this post and the sake of his privacy, I'll call him Levi.
The first time I saw Levi was when he climbed out of the van at Rescued Hearts Youth Ranch. He came with a group of 5 other boys, ages 11-18. They had just emerged from a (roughly) 30 minute drive after a full day of being in school. To say they were all bundles of energy in need of some way to expend it all would be an understatement. These weren't the type of youth who were used to having room to run and play, so all the openness of the ranch was a new experience for them.
We only had a limited amount of time with them, so after introductions were made we immediately began the sessions. While I took 1 of the boys with me to be with the horses, the other 5 were free to just enjoy the freedom by running around or doing a craft. I think that day they made paper airplanes and competed in whose went the furthest (although I could be wrong since I wasn't involved in that part.) Everyone had fun and when the afternoon came to a close, they left with smiles on their faces. As they loaded back into their van, echoes of, "Thanks, nice ladies!" could be heard throughout the yard. With smiles of our own we told them we looked forward to seeing them all again.
While the group did come back, Levi was absent. I'd only seen him that one time, but something about him had made him stick out to me. There was something in the way he acted, the way he spoke, just how he was that made me remember him. So when he continued to be absent, I inquired about why he was no longer coming. I found out that he didn't really fit in with the other boys that were coming, he didn't really consider them friends.
I had become friends with the woman who would always bring them (let's call her Angela) so every few weeks I'd text her and see how the groups were doing. One day she text me first, asking for us to be praying for the youth. There had been a suicide of a teenage boy that they all knew and they weren't handling it very well. The cops ended up pulling two more kids off the railroad tracks over the next couple days, I believe. It seems there was now a suicide pact among them.
While all the boys who had come to the ranch were affected in some way by this, not all of them had joined the suicide pact. Levi, however, did. My heart broke for him upon learning this. How could this boy who hadn't even really lived yet want to end it all so young? Why would he become part of such a thing? What must his life be filled with that would cause him to want to leave it so soon?
"God, what can I do?!", my heart cried. "Please, help!!" I kept praying for these youth, for Levi specifically as he was the only one I actually knew. I cried and I prayed for a way to help him. At some point I felt a stirring in me to write him a letter. I didn't know if this would be acceptable or not to his parents, so I contacted Angela for her advice. After explaining what I wanted to do, I asked if she thought Levi would be okay with that. Her response? "Yes!! Write him, please!" So I sat down at my desk, I prayed for God to give me the right words, and I began to write.
*Photo found on Pinterest*
I began by telling him that we had really enjoyed having him at the ranch and that we'd missed him the past few times the groups came without him. I told him I hoped we'd get to see him again sometime soon. I wrote to him that I had heard about his friend's death and how sorry I was to hear it. I let him know that I was aware that he was having a hard time with it all and that I would be praying for him. I then told him that, though I knew he was in a really hard place right then, things would get better. I wrote that there was a reason he was born, a purpose behind his creation, and that this world needed to have him in it. I gave him the words that he was wanted, he was needed, and he was loved.
I sent the letter off with prayers that God would reach him through it. I hoped that through the words I'd written, his heart would feel hope. I prayed that, even though I felt like my words weren't good enough, God would still use this letter in a mighty way in Levi's life.
Angela informed me after Levi received his letter and not only did Levi love receiving it, but his mom appreciated it as well. And do you know what? Levi showed up with the next group of youth that came to the ranch. He came with a smile, so eager to be with the horses again. When he found out that he was going to get to ride one of the horses, he was all for it. He even volunteered to take everyone else's turns if they were hesitant to try it.
Levi had admitted to the counselors that he did have a plan of how to kill himself. He began to receive help dealing with it all, hopefully learning how to mourn the loss of his friend but not allow it to destroy his own life. Instead of following through on his part in the suicide pact, Levi made the brave choice and chose life instead.
Due to the winter weather and Angela having changed jobs, we don't know what Levi's story entails today. We hope the short time we had with him made a lasting impression and we pray that others will reach out to him on his journey through his teenage years.
He was a boy going through a hard time, one I didn't even realize. While on the outside he appeared fine, inside he was hurting and confused. Life had been hard for him, forcing him to deal with things a child his age should never have to experience. In the midst of the pain and chaos, he needed to hear that he mattered. He needed to know that someone saw him, cared about him, and wanted him around. If we're all honest with ourselves, don't we want those very same things?
I share this story for a couple reasons:
- I'd like to make you more aware of the struggles and difficulties our young people are facing today. The world they're growing up in is very different than when we were the kids running around. The messages they're receiving through the media, the things they're being taught (or should I say, aren't being taught) in school, the mistakes they're seeing the adults around them make while claiming them to be "right" and "true" - these all add up to our youth growing up too fast in a world filled with chaos. Don't be so quick to judge them as rebels and hooligans. The things they're doing are, a lot of times, just them trying to escape their pain or survive their lives. If no one's teaching them any differently, how can we berate them for behaving the way they do? Next time, smile at them. Say a kind word. Take the time to invest in their lives. You never know what someone else may be struggling with. Who knows? Maybe you just encountered your own "Levi"...
- God hears us when we pray and He responds to our call. I truly believe that heaven is moved by our petitions and prayers. Our voices are not just bouncing off the clouds or being absorbed by the earth. No, I believe that when we pray our voices go to heaven's throne room and straight to our Savior. There is power in prayer, there is purpose in praying, and things happen when we lift our voices and cry out to Him! May we never buy the lie that God is not hearing us. The enemy would love for us to believe that. He wants to defeat us before we pray because he knows through prayer he is defeated!
- God will use us right where we are, if we'll let Him. If we surrender ourselves to Him and allow Him to be in control, God can use us to reach this hurting world. We are surrounded by people who are desperate for someone to show them that they matter. All around us are people who need to hear the words that they are wanted, that they have a purpose, that they are loved. We all have the ability to speak those words, yet we keep them locked inside. Sometimes it's out of ignorance - we don't realize an opportunity has arisen for us to help someone in need. Sometimes it's out of fear - we're too afraid to speak because if we do there's a chance we'll say it wrong and appear foolish.
One of the things I love about God is that He takes our bumbling and fumbling attempts and uses them to touch someone in need. It's not us who have the power to heal these peoples' wounds, but Him alone who holds that power. The pressure to have the exact right words that will touch someone's life is not on us. We simply need to trust Him to be present and speak through us. It's a beautiful thing when He chooses to use us as a conduit for which His love and healing power flow through.
I challenge you to join with me in asking the Holy Spirit to open our eyes to someone in need today. Let's ask Him to make us aware when opportunities arise for us to speak life into someone's heart. Let's join together and call on Him for the courage and boldness needed to open our mouths and speak instead of biting our tongues due to fear. May we give Him our day and see how He uses it.
May we surrender our hands to touch who He leads us to. Surrender our feet to walk where He's calling us to go. Surrender our hearts to love those He's giving us to love. Surrender our mouths to speak when and what He wants us to say. Surrender our lives so, through our dying of self, He may bring true life to someone else.
May our eyes be opened to the needs of those around us. May our hearts be softened towards those who are acting out in defense against the pain and despair. May we begin to recognize and answer these hurting people's silent screams.
*If you'd like to learn more about Rescued Hearts Youth Ranch, you can visit the website here. Join us in extending love to today's youth.
*Photo credit to Rescued Hearts Youth Ranch*
No comments:
Post a Comment