There’s a story captured in this moment here -
A beautiful reminder that I need not fear,
A promise and Truth for my heart to hear:
Life’s storms may come, but the rainbow always appears.
Oh, my soul, be at peace - your God is near.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I had a random urge recently to change my computers background image so I went hunting through my laptops photo gallery. As I scrolled through the many life moments I had captured, I came across the above picture and I got stuck there. Something about this moment wouldn’t let me keep scrolling.
I hesitated to choose this picture because of the poor quality of the image, but then I got sucked into my husband’s eyes and I suddenly didn't care if it was blurry or not. And then there’s the visual proof of how good my guy makes a beard look…
And then I glanced at the woman sitting beside him.
Then I sat there and stared at her.
There’s a story in her smile and I need to remember it.
You see, the me in this picture - the me who’s smiling and appears to be happy… would you guess I'm experiencing high levels of pain at that moment? And by that I mean, I was in so much pain that each breath hurt. And yet, I'm smiling.
This picture was taken at a concert in Toledo, OH back in February of 2017. I was struggling to recover from my latest chronic attack. I was existing on a couple bananas eaten over a three-day time span, causing me to be extremely weak. My whole torso was screaming at me, sending shots of pain throughout my system on top of the steady throbbing I was already experiencing. I felt depleted of all energy, not real confident in my legs’ ability to support me. And all I wanted to do was curl up in the fetal position and escape the world for a little while.
But the tickets had been purchased, the hotel rooms booked, the plans made. So I traveled with my husband and parents in faith, praying I wouldn’t relapse while we were gone. Every single moment of that trip hurt, but you know what? I wouldn’t go back and change my decision to go {and not only because I met Danny Gokey while we were there!}
There’s something beautiful about taking a risk. Scary, even terrifying at times. But beautiful nonetheless. Because when I step out in faith with no clue how it’s going to work, when I allow myself to be completely dependent on Him to carry me through - I've found that’s when I often encounter God’s love for me at a whole new depth.
When I step out and then get out of His way, He never fails to move.
Maybe you’ve been there.
Or maybe you're there now.
The pain is too intense, you don’t know how to move. The bills are too big, you don’t know how you’ll pay. The relationship is failing, you don’t know how to fix it. Your loved one is slipping, you don’t know how to catch them.
The goal is too far, you don’t know how you’ll complete it. The dream is too crazy, you don’t know how to reach it. The calling is too great, you don’t know how to fulfill it.
Life can be so overwhelming at times. Everything seems so big that our vision becomes eclipsed by it. We can’t see around it, above it, below it, or through it. The storm clouds are so dark, we can't imagine ever seeing a rainbow again.
It’s in those moments, those dark and hopeless-feeling moments, that something truly beautiful can be found. Because it’s in those times we get to choose to experience the beautiful surrender.
Surrender of our fear. Our doubts. Our worries.
Surrender of our pride. Our selfishness. Our way.
Surrender of all that we are to all that He is.
His love will never fail us.
He can’t be less than good.
He remains faithful in our struggles.
And He’s working out His plan for us.
All we have to do is trust.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
You see me in the picture above, smiling and seemingly happy.
That’s because I am…
Despite all the pain and hurting, I know I am blessed.
Despite whatever you’re facing, so are you.
Do you have a picture of a moment that can serve as a reminder of this for you?
{If so, can I see it? I would so love that!}
The struggle doesn’t define me and it doesn't have to define you. The enemy would have us believe that lie, but we get to choose: complain or rejoice. Curse Him or bless Him.
" A cheerful heart puts a smile on your face..." - Proverbs 15:13 TPT
*If you're interested in reading more about what I learned from this chronic attack, check out my post "Artist at Work"
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