Enduring Faith {part 3}

It’s so easy to get wrapped up in our daily lives, isn’t it?

There are groceries to buy. Laundry to do. Gas tanks to fill.

Another work day to get through. A friend-date to look forward to. A kids program to attend.

The floor needs sweeping, the dishes need washing, and *gag* the toilet needs scrubbing.

We accomplish one thing only to accumulate three more, it seems! It’s never-ending, this to-do list of life. They’re not bad things {although I’m not sure I’d label toilet scrubbing under “good”} just time-consuming.

Or maybe it’s more accurate to call them mind-consuming…

Growing up, I was taught that this world is temporary and should never be my focus, but to instead keep my eyes on Him and the things that hold eternal value. To not get bogged down in the stuff that will one day fade away.

The insatiable hunger, achy joints, and muscle fatigue.
The anxiety over being anxious.
The stabbing abdominal sensations.

The questions: why? when? will it ever...?

Over the past year, I went deeper into being eternity-focused through time spent worshipping to Kim Walker-Smith’s, “Throne Room”. 

“I fall on my face with angels and saints 

and all I can say is ‘holy, holy, holy are You, God!’ 

My heart can’t contain the weight of Your name 

and all I can say is ‘holy, holy, holy are You!’”

Those lyrics became an anthem of sorts for me. I started picturing myself there - running into God’s throne room and falling prostrate before Him. Beholding His majesty, His beauty, His countenance; and being left only able to claim His holiness.

Can you picture it? Can you see yourself there, worshipping the King?

I found myself really moved and challenged by these lyrics. They stirred up a hunger in me - a desire to remain in a posture of exalting Him no matter what's happening around or within me. And I think that’s what changed my perspective during that painful first week of December. My heart had been tuned to the eternal, so the temporary pain didn’t feel so big.

When our gaze is fixed on the eternal, the temporal begins losing its grasp on us.

*Grace upon grace

All my fear falls away

Only Your perfect love 

for me remains

Instead of fretting about this illness, being scared I wouldn’t come out of the attack, and worried about its lasting effects - I had peace. 

I had pain. And nausea. I woke up in panic attacks, scrambling for JRB to help me. But even in the midst of all that, there was this eternal peace. My spirit was at rest.

It was {and is} well with my soul.

Because of these things God’s been revealing to me, these Truths that He’s planting deep within me and lovingly tending, I am at peace. I am confident of His goodness and His faithfulness towards me. 

Whether or not He takes this physical pain away, I will continue to trust Him.
Whether I’m ever healed on earth or not, I will gladly follow Him.

For He is holy. Oh, so holy.

        

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When I began this series, it took me a while to decide on what to title it. I asked for opinions, I thought through different options, I talked to Jesus about my ideas. And in the process, one name was highlighted: Enduring Faith. 

Because that’s the kind of faith I want.

A faith that stands strong under the weight of all life brings. 

A faith that does not flee in the face of the enemy’s taunts and attacks. 

A faith that attracts others into His Presence and Love.

A faith that continues when the world says quit; 

perseveres when the world pushes in; 

remains when others flee.

A faith that beautifully endures.

Read Enduring Faith {part 1} and Enduring Faith {part 2} for the rest of the story!

All lines preceded by an asterisk (*) are lyrics from "Throne Room".