*~ a Heavenly invitation ~*

My pastor recently invited me to go with her to an upcoming speaking engagement of hers, where she’ll be teaching on the topic of abiding in His love. I love spending time with her, so I immediately agreed. After I got excited over the simple fact I’d be spending time with her, she then said something along the lines of, “If you have a blog post or something you’ve written that goes along with what I’ll be speaking about, let me know and we can possibly have you share it.” 

I think my heart forgot how to function for a few beats following that statement…

My pastor has a truly beautiful heart, so even though she often causes a riot of butterflies to take flight inside of me when she says stuff like that, I tend to pay attention to it because I know what’s behind the invitation from her. She knows speaking in front of people makes me super nervous, but she also knows it’s something I’m called to do so she doesn’t let my nerves stop her from asking me to speak. God just keeps using her to give me the opportunities to stretch and grow in this area, gently moving me forward into who He has created me to be. 

*Photo found on Pinterest

I didn’t really feel that any of my previous posts went with her specific topic. While I have shared about resting in Him and my peace being in Him, I haven’t written anything with the word “abide” in mind before. I began to feel nervous because I was putting pressure on myself to come up with something for her. I became performance-minded for about two days before my brain kicked back in and I remembered that I only ever want to write what He prompts me to, not what I pressure myself to write.

With the remembering came the surrendering - surrendering my blog back to Him, laying my gifts and talents at His feet, only wanting to use them for His glory, never my own. Where my thoughts had been frantic with trying to figure out what to write, I now have peace because I know that if He wants me to share something, He will supply me with the words to say.

This past Sunday morning after I woke up, while still snuggled in my blankets, I started planning and picturing how my day would go (..does anybody else do that?!) I wanted to take some time to be in prayer over the topic of abiding in Him, so I was picturing myself in our living room praying and asking God, “Do You have something you want me to share with this group of women? Is there a message I should pass on?” Now, I was picturing me doing this, sorta planning it out for the day (not the words, just taking the time to do it), but I wasn’t actually consciously praying in that moment - that didn’t stop God from responding though! He immediately gave me a brief vision while I was laying there…

I saw a beautiful garden that looked like something out of a fairytale dream, 

the colors were so vividly perfect. 

In the middle of this garden there were several small wrought iron tables, 

where women were sitting and having a tea party. 

When I focused on these women, their images kept flickering between adult and child. 

One second I was seeing grown women and the next I was seeing innocent little girls. 

They were all chatting and laughing, soaking in the sunshine and completely at peace.

This seemed such an odd and random thing to pop into my head that I asked God, “Is this from You or is my brain just not awake yet?” He gave me the confirmation that it was indeed Him, I wasn’t just coming up with crazy things in my sleepy brain (always good to know!) I felt like He told me that this was a picture of how it can be when we abide in Him, that it allows us to have that childlike innocence again. That innocence that allowed us to have faith that wasn’t hindered by our head-knowledge or any past experiences, nor by the often disheartening questions of “how?”, “when?”, or “what if..?” A child believes so easily, trusts so completely.

*Photo found on Pinterest, courtesy of capturingivy

Who did we invite to our tea parties when we were little? Our friends! Whether they were people or our stuffed animals and baby dolls, each member was a special guest because they were someone we wanted to share our time with. We wanted them to sit at our {kid-sized} table, drink our {imaginary} tea, and enjoy our {sometimes real} snacks. With the innocence of a child we bestowed invitations on our most beloved friends. That’s what God does too - He gives the invitation to sit at His table and enjoy His banquet treats to His most treasured friends. We are those friends. 

Can you just take a second to let that sink in? He calls us Friend!

When I was doing some research on the word “abide” I saw that one of it’s synonyms listed in the dictionary is “remain”. I really love that word in relation to this topic. It’s when we remain in Him that we rest in a place of peace. He’s a shelter in the midst of life’s storms, where our joy and our hope are protected from the effects of life’s raging that’s happening all around us.

*Photo found on Pinterest

Abiding in His love allows us to truly rest. We are no longer slaves to fear or anxieties, because His perfect love casts out all fear. (1 John 4:18) When we remain in our Shepherd, we lack nothing. (Psalm 23:1) In Him we can have security in the knowledge that we are fully known (1 Corinthians 13:12) and loved with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3) How much freer would we live if we truly grasped these Truths? 

I feel I would be remiss if I didn’t mention anywhere in this post how we abide in Him. We’re told in John 15:9-10(MSG), “I’ve loved you the way my Father has loved me. Make yourselves at home in my love. If you keep my commands, you’ll remain (abide) intimately at home in my love. That’s what I’ve done - kept my Father’s commands and made myself at home in his love.” Verses 12 and 17 say, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. … This is my command: Love each other.”

It’s that simple, yet that profound. Love. The greatest force in the world. Agape Love: selfless, sacrificial, unconditional. The highest of the four types of love in the Bible. It’s the way Jesus loves us. It’s the way we are called to love one another. It’s how we can live a life abiding in Him, remaining in Him.

*Photo found on Pinerest

The Party has been planned.

The guest list was made and your name is written on it. 

The pen? A nail. The ink? His blood, poured out in love for you.

The invitations have been sent out. 

They’re beautifully embossed with an image of a Man hanging on a cross.

The refreshments have been laid out. 

The beverage is Living Water that will leave us thirsting no more (John 4:14).

 The soul-nourishing treats of unfailing love, unending joy, uncontainable hope, and unexplainable peace.

The Hosts are prepared. 

The Father, Son, & Holy Spirit eagerly anticipate dwelling amongst Their guests, Their friends.  

You’ve been invited to come and abide with Him, to remain in Him. 

To rest in Him with childlike abandon.

All is prepared, ready for you to enjoy. 

The choice is yours whether you attend or not.

Friends, knowing everything He’s put into this party for us, I gotta ask… 

why would we say “no”?

*Photo found on Pinterest

[a confession + a testimony]

Just the other day I realized that this past March (3.8.16) marked JRB and I’s one year anniversary of being commissioned as the youth leaders for our church! We’d been hanging out with the teens for several months prior to that, but it was on that Sunday in March that we became official. Wow - It doesn’t feel like it’s been over a year already...

I’ve shared recently about how my chronic illness has brought me to times of questioning God and His plans for my life. I've wrote about how I’ve struggled with knowing there are things He’s called me to do and my frustrations with this body that limits my ability to walk in those things. You can read my posts “Questions and Doubts” and “{i.choose.trust}” for more on that. In this post I want to share with you how my illness doesn’t stop God from fulfilling His plans in my life.

*Photo found on Pinterest

It seems like it was only a couple months ago that JRB and I were sitting down to have the deep discussions about whether or not we should step into the role of youth leaders. Asking the questions, weighing the sacrifices, and praying over whether this was God nudging us to move. Through it all, we were also talking about my fears and worries.

That’s right, Friends. This is my confession: I was seriously scared to step into this role. To make the commitment, to say “yes”, to move forward. It was exciting, sure - but it was also slightly terrifying for me. The fear wasn’t about the role of leader, but rather due to my illness. What would we do if I was too sick to actually be the youth leader that these teens deserve? I spoke with my husband, I spoke with my pastor, and more than them, I spoke with God. I did not want to take this step if it wasn’t 100% clear that this was what He was calling us into.

Through all the conversations, prayers, and discussions it was confirmed for us that this was something we needed to pursue. So we gave our “yes” and stepped out in faith. Where Joyce Meyer’s has given the wise advice to “do it afraid”, my somewhat-joking motto became, “do it sick!”

Time passed, we stepped in to the leadership position, and the evening finally came for our first youth group meeting. About 30-45mins before we needed to be leaving our house, I went into an attack. In a normal time, this isn’t a good thing. On that afternoon, I freaked out because of knowing I needed to be leaving soon. “I can’t be sick right now, I have to go to youth!!” I sent out texts to my prayer warriors, JRB and I prayed, and, in spite of how truly awful I was feeling, we left the house on time. 

Instead of getting better though, I just got worse and worse the longer I was in the car. And I thought, “God.. where are You?!?” This was not a good start to our youth ministry. It only seemed to be adding weight to all my fears and worries that I mentioned earlier.

In the midst of me panicking in the car, we made a plan - if I was too sick to sit in with everyone else, JRB would go ahead with the meeting as if nothing was wrong. He’d just let the teens know I wasn’t feeling good without making a big deal out of it. We continued to pray that I would feel well enough to be with everyone, but we were prepared just in case that wasn’t possible.

We arrived at the church and I immediately went to a room where I could be alone. While JRB was getting everything set up, I was having a severe panic attack and thinking about calling my mom to come take me to the emergency room. My pain had intensified beyond what I could endure without help, and despite how it kept ebbing in and out, the times it was “in” were excruciating. While all of this was going through my head, in the midst of the pain rushing through me, and in between my prayers for God’s help, I was also aware that I needed to make myself go out of that room and greet the teens. If I was capable of nothing else, I at least needed to be there to welcome them on that first night.

So I took a deep breath, prayed for strength, and walked out the door despite the severe pain and nausea. Immediately upon entering the hallway that would lead me to everyone, I saw one of our teens walking towards me. Filled with a desire to be upbeat and welcoming to him, I put a smile on my face and called out to him cheerfully, “Hey! I’m so glad you’re here! How are you?”

You guys, the very instant that I acknowledged him, I was healed. 

H.E.A.L.E.D.! 

*Photo found on Pinterest

“The Spirit of God has made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me life!” (Job 33:4)

From one step to the next, my pain and nausea were gone. It’s like I passed through a veil, where on one side I was sick and on the other I was pain free. I walked into our youth meeting, sat down and chatted with everyone, and was able to stay for the whole service. Not only did I stay, though, I felt good!

In that room I was crying out, “God, I need You to show up. I need You to help me. I can’t do this on my own. I know You’ve called me to this, now I need You to give me the ability to do it. Please, God, I need You!” Friends, did He ever answer that prayer!

As I was reflecting back on the meeting later that night after I was home, I realized something. In the very instant that I needed it, God took away my pain. Leading up to that moment, I wanted Him to take my pain away, but it was the moment that I came into contact with one of our teens - the reason I was there, the very person God had called me to serve - it was then that I truly needed Him to heal me. When the want became a need, He stepped in.

This is what I know: God may not always give me what I want, but He will always supply me with what I need. “You can be sure that God will take care of everything you need, his generosity exceeding even ours in the glory that pours from Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19)

I’ve placed a mental Stone of Remembrance in this place in my mind to help me remember that God will help me as I live in this ministry. As JRB and I continue to pour our hearts into these amazing teens whom we’ve come to love so quickly, I often find myself reflecting back on that very first youth service. When I have my flare ups that interfere with M.180 (our youth ministry), I remind myself that nothing is impossible for God. My illness is not greater than Him, my sickness is no match for His power. So I move forward in faith - honored to know and lead these students, humbled to serve them with my husband - placing my trust in Him and knowing that this is exactly what He has called us to do.

*Photo found on Pinterest

“Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus…” (Hebrews 12:1)

In the book of Luke, starting in verse 26 of chapter 8, we’re given a story of when Jesus restores a demon possessed man. The story starts when Jesus stepped out of his boat onto land and was immediately met with this crazed man who fell down at his feet. The demons recognized the power of Jesus and, once in His presence, could do nothing but bow down to Him. Later we see Jesus cast the demons into a herd of pigs that were nearby, leaving the man free and in his right mind. The people who witnessed this became afraid and asked Jesus to leave them, so He did. The man who had been freed from the demons wanted to go with Him, but Jesus had a different task for him. In verse 39 He tells him, “Return home and tell how much God has done for you.”

That is the whole point of this post. I wrote all this because I have been feeling the push to tell you how much my God has done for me, in the same way that once demon possessed man was told to do. God’s goodness is not something we should keep silent about.

Friends, my God is good. All the time, He is good! My illness, this pain that I live with day in and day out, the future that seems to hold no medical discoveries for me - these things are not great enough to make me doubt my God’s goodness. Life is hard and some mornings I don’t even feel like I can get out of bed, let alone face what the day holds. But still I choose to trust, because my God has shown Himself faithful. No matter what life throws at me, knowing that He is on my side, I can stand strong and boldly declare, “Bring it on!”

I have no idea what the situation you’re in looks like or what circumstance you’re facing, - illness, divorce, financial difficulties, broken friendships… Whatever it is, I encourage you to pause and take a deep breath, then once again look at it through the eyes of Truth - your God is for you and He is with you. Look at whatever’s going on in life, call on His name, boldly stand up in the midst of the hardships, and confidently declare that God.is.good!

*Photo found on Pinterest

“Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see - how good God is. Blessed are you who run to him.” (Psalm 34:8)