I awoke with eager excitement, even though I’d barely slept the night before. The day was one I’d been anticipating for what felt like forever (but in reality was only 6 months) and I was ready to get to the main event!
My hair and face were all prettified. My dress was simple perfection; my boots, a splash of fun. I had my best girls by my side.
Then there was him.
Him, who was looking so handsome in his vest and tie. Him, who brought along his best fellas. Him, who had asked the question that led us to that day.
{September 7th, 2013}
That beautiful day when JRB and I made our vows and pledged our hearts to one another. When he forever became my Mr. and I, his Mrs.
“On this day
I give you my heart.
My promise
That I will walk with you,
Hand in hand,
Wherever our journey leads us.
Living, learning, loving.
I will be yours in plenty and in want,
In sickness and in health,
In failure and in triumph.
I will dream with you and celebrate with you.
Together,
Forever.”
Here I am, 3 years later, sitting on my couch in the living room of the home JRB has built for us. I gotta say, it doesn’t seem like it’s been that long already. Yet, at the same time, it seems like it’s been so much longer. The beautiful paradox of time in a marriage…
As I was beginning my day, thinking about what today represents and our plans to celebrate, the words for this post began swarming my brain. I knew if I didn’t write them down I’d spend my day mentally writing this post over and over until I finally physically wrote it out (my brain can be persistent like that.)
So, in honor of JRB and I’s wedding anniversary (and because I don’t want these words taking up a big portion of my brain all day!), here are 5 of the countless things I’ve learned about marriage over the past 3 years.
*Valentine's Day, 2016
5) Being right is never more important than being kind.
Choosing love can be hard, especially when we’re wanting different things. When he’s saying one thing and I believe it’s better a different way, it can lead to frustrations and irritations. I want my way and I want him to just give it to me. In those moments, I’m reminded of some wise counsel we received prior to our wedding day: love each other more. We should love one another more than we love being right or having things our own way. Loving them and treating them with honor and respect is always more important than “being right”.
*Easter, 2016
4) Families are different…and that’s okay!
My family has traditions and ways of doing things and his family has another. Nothing makes either one right or wrong, they’re just different. It can be hard learning how to adjust and blend these things together in a marriage. JRB and I are learning that the smoothest way to do these things is to simply let them be. When we’re with one family, we do things their way. When we’re with the other family, then we move to their rhythm. As we build our own family, we’ll integrate values and beats from each of our families, creating a whole new flavor of Blair. Family is beautiful and something to be treasured <3
*Mother's Day, 2016
3) The “in sickness” part is no joke.
It’s odd to imagine hard days ahead when speaking the vows, but realistically we know that we’ll all face rough times. Personally, we’ve faced a lot of icky days brought on by sickness. We intentionally chose vows with those specific words because of my illness. For us, it’s an every day vow that we live out. For JRB, that means choosing to love me when I’m too weak to do anything, causing him to pick up all my slack. It means facing my severe attacks beside me, trying to keep me alert as they rush me to the ER, even as he fears he’s lost me (that’s a story for another blog post..) It’s staying together and choosing to love even if nothing ever improves. If you vow “in sickness and in health”, be very aware that the sickness part can be all too real.
*Father's Day, 2016
2) Laundry doesn’t just double…
Going from doing one person’s laundry to doing it for two, you’d think your task would simply double. Well, you’d think wrong. Getting married brings magic into your world, Friends, because that stuff doesn’t double, it quadruples! How else can you explain that besides magic?? ;)
*JRB's Birthday, 2016
1) Love is the greatest force in the world.
When we choose love - real, true, and abiding love - marriage is beautiful. Because that love is patient with its spouse and that love is kind to its other half. That love isn’t jealous of its husband, nor is it always walking around and boasting about its greatness. That love isn’t prideful, but rather exudes humility. It doesn’t dishonor its wife, nor does it live with a “me, me, me” mentality. That love doesn’t get angry and upset easily. It doesn’t keep a record of its husband’s wrongs against them, nor does it keep a list of its wife’s past failures and mistakes. It doesn’t delight in evil or dirty things, but rather rejoices with the truth. That love - that deep love that seems so rare - that love always protects its spouse. It always trusts them, always holds hope for them, and always perseveres beside them. That love never fails.
It’s worth repeating: Love is the greatest force in the world.
Life is a crazy-beautiful journey filled with ups and downs, hairpin turns and whiplash-inducing speeds. At times it’s fun and exhilarating, while other times you’d give anything to just get off the ride. From one day to the next, from one breath to another, everything can change.
There was a time in my life when I feared my dream of being married to a godly man would stay just that: a dream. Then, God brought my “change”. He blessed me with JRB, who’s a Man among men. The way he loves me is humbling. He’s my fierce protector, my gentle caregiver, my shoulder to cry on, and my safe place to hide.
The last three years have been filled with smiles and laughter while having their share of tears as well. With everything life throws our way and sends down the tracks towards us, I’m extremely grateful that it’s my hubby who’s holding my hand on this marriage-ride.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - I love Love.
JRB’s love, though? That’s my most favoritest love of all.
