I saw a video posted recently on Facebook. One of my friends had reposted it from the group, The Anima Series. This video, "I Am Awesome" (which you can watch if you'd like) stirred something inside of me, brought to the surface this hunger to really know if what they said is true. Could the message that these people are sharing, the words this guy is boldly proclaiming, could this really be how God sees me?
I also keep getting this song stuck in my head. Well, honestly it's just the chorus that keeps following me around.
Hello, my name is Child of the One True King.
I've been saved, I've been changed, I have been set free
Amazing Grace is the song I sing
Hello, my name is Child of the One True King!
It's a beautiful and powerful song by Matthew West (take a listen) that makes my heart stand at attention. "Is he talking about me? Are these lyrics for me?", my heart seems to wonder. Could it be that the way I've always seen myself and the way I tend to think of myself are wrong? Is it true that God sees me differently?
I don't think it's just a coincidence that I've come across these two powerful messages that are calling out and awakening some deeply buried part of me. No, definitely not a mere coincidence. Instead, I feel God calling me forth, beckoning me to crawl out of the pit of lies I've been stuck in, to drop the chains of the negativity surrounding me, and to walk forward into the light of who I am in Him. He's revealing things to me and bringing to mind times in my past where He's shown me these same truths. It's been a process, a journey He's been leading me on for years without me fully realizing it.
A couple years ago, I was sitting in my bedroom on one of the kitchen stools. Why that stool was in the bedroom instead of out at the table, I have no idea, but I suppose that part's irrelevant. The important part is while I was sitting there, God gave me a vision.
I saw myself walking with a group of people. At first I was near the front of the group, kind of like I was one of the leaders. As we kept going, I started to realize that we were walking towards a light, a light so bright that it made where we were at suddenly seem so dark. I started to get nervous, I guess maybe a little worried about what this light would reveal. I started to feel dirty, unworthy of being in the light. The others kept walking, but I was slowing down. I instinctively knew that once we got to the light, we'd be in Jesus' presence and I felt like others deserved to see Him first. I glanced around and started really seeing who I was walking with. "Oh, there's the pastor. Well he should definitely go before me. He's a much better Christian than I am." The people kept going until suddenly I was standing still, back with my chains, while everyone around me passed me by. "They're all so much better than me, so much cleaner. They all deserve to see Christ. I should probably just stay here" I thought to myself.
I was in the dark, all alone, when I heard Him calling, "Child, come to me."
"Oh no, Lord. I can't. I'm…I-I-I-I'm chained."
"No, Dear One, you're not. I have broken your chains. Come."
I glanced down and realized something astonishing. He was right, I wasn't chained! Instead of the chains holding me in place, it was me holding on to the chains.
"It is for freedom that I set you free, walk in that freedom. Let go of the things that once held you back. Be free. Come."
That vision made me cry. Tears trickled down as I sat in awe of what He'd just shown me. Just as the stool I was sitting on didn't have a hold on me, all I had to do was make the choice to stand up and move, so it is with the bonds of sin. They have been broken by Jesus and can no longer hold me. I have been bought by the precious blood of Jesus and all I have to do is choose to drop the chains and move forward into Him.
I believe God's been speaking a message to my heart for a long time. A message that I was hearing in bits and pieces, but not grasping fully. The message that God loves me, me, just as much as everyone else. He doesn't see me as unworthy of His attention and presence. He doesn't say I should let everyone else come to Him first because they're better than me. He doesn't have favorites, except in the fact that each one of us is equally His favorite. I'm not too dirty, too weak, too nervous. I'm not too quiet, too weird, too impatient. I'm not too bad to be loved by Him. In fact, the way I see me isn't how He sees me at all. When He looks at me, His Word says He sees…
A freed captive - one free of condemnation, free from the law of sin and death. One powerful and strong in Him. His temple. One sanctified in Him. One washed white by His blood, pure in His sight. One who is blameless in Him. His child. His redeemed. His beloved. His heir. The apple of His eye. His friend. A new creation in Him. His righteousness. Holy in Him. His fearfully and wonderfully created one, made for good works. One with bold and confident access to Him. A citizen of heaven. One who is precious and beautiful to Him. His accepted one. His chosen one. Complete in Christ.
*Photo credit - illbeasunbeam.tumblr.com
What if I lived as if I truly believed these things?
When my husband compliments me, I live believing it. What he says gives me more confidence in how I look and feel, which changes my whole approach and attitude about my day. When I believe what he says, I feel more free to be me. When I'm accepted in my husband's eyes, I don't worry so much about how I look or act or feel. He loves me, I believe it, and so I'm safe.
How much freer I would be if I took the Truth's about how God sees me, tucked them into my heart, proclaimed them in my life, and lived safe in the knowledge that I am accepted, wanted, and cherished by Him. I am beautiful, unique, and I have a purpose. I please Him, I bring Him joy, and God sings over me. He takes delight in me. These powerful Truths are life-changing, soul-impacting, heart-freeing. If we believe and claim these things, our hearts will be changed. And if you change a heart, you change the world. Our world is in desperate need of change...
I'll end with this quote from a book I got when I was around 12 or 13 (I'm telling you, God's been revealing these things to me for a long time...)
"When God sings, I wonder what it sounds like.
Does He roar like Pavarotti
or croon like Nat King Cole
or raise the roof like a spirited gospel choir
or whisper a mother's lullaby?
Either way…..
or every way….
God sings because you give Him joy."
